It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want To

Tonight at rehearsal I was such a btich! We have a dance number in the play that a few of the actors are not committing to. One of the problems is that it has a slow melody but a fast beat and they are trying to dance to the beat rather than the melody. So, whilst we were waiting for some of the actors to show up - lateness is still a problem - I played the musce on repeat. Myself and two of my actors - the two that are committing the most to the production - started danicing to the music - a very natural response for me. After dancing for a bit, I taught one of the actors some diaphragm stretches and the other actor came over to join us. Afterwards, she told me she did so tacitly entice the others to join in; I intentionally did not tell them that they should get up and move since I was waiting to see hot long it took them to get bored of sitting around doing nothing. Eventually, I stopped the music to have a wee hissy-fit at them for wasting time. I also told them they shouldn't have to be told what to do since they are adults and they are all experienced enough to know that they need to warm up. Throughout the rest of rehearsal I thought I was being a bitch - which I was.

Oddly, however, I don't like being a bitchy director. Although I think I become too much of a friend to the cast. I need to find the middle-ground and be authoritative without being too bitchy. In this situation, I was so exasperted at the cst for constantly coming to rehearsals late and then - when they finally arrived - not working independently but needing to constantly have my eye on them. I realise that rehearsals do not go the way I plan them, but I am often caught on the fly because I have to suddenly changed my plans to make the best use of those actors that actually show up. I am aslo concious that I call a full-cast rehearsal and don't use dome actors because we get stuck into a scene that we didn't plan to do because someone was late or - even worse - didn't show up at all that we don't get to do the parts which need doing.

I also made the cast be off-book tonight. I had previously told them we wouldn't be doing this until Sunday but have since realised that this would be leaving it far too late. Most of them took to the idea but some were more resistant - we did have a prompt available. In this, again, I was flexible. One actor came upt to me when I said we would be rehearsing her scene and - very passive-agressively - asked me if we could not as she didn't know the lines at all. I gave her the option of reading the lines before we rehearsed the scene; she gratefully accepted this offer. I am just a bit frustrated that the actors aren't being flexible enough and are putting up too much resistance. Having said this, they did work a lot better after my little hissy-fit.

Blogging

Here is a link to my library blog which talks about how blogging makes me a better director.

Just Wait

This weekend, we had an intensive rehearsal for Winter's Tale. This was enlightening for two particular reasons.

First: I had been wanting one of my actors to make his scene partner the focus of a humping movement to accompany the line "she's a hobby-horse." In previous rehearsals - and more than one - I asked him to hump his scene partner. However, he just was not ready to. Then, on Saturday night he astounded us all by actually committing and making it look wonderful! We all thought it was very hot. The lesson from this incident: just wait until people are ready to come to you and don't force them to do anything for which they are not ready. It is surprisingly easy to get people to do sexual things but it just takes a bit of time to work up to them and for people to get comfortable with each other.

We then tried to do a drunken rehearsal but it became obvious that the rehearsing was not going to work. By the time we got around to actually rehearsing the actors were not able to read their scripts. However, the exercise was good as a bonding one to get those cast members who stayed more open with each other. However, the next day was quite hard for me - since my friend and I stayed over at the theatre and I was a tad hung over.

I also used a technique that I had never used before. I was having problems with the general look of scenes - particularly in finding things for the people who weren't directly involved in the action to do. We did a stop-start rehearsal with me focusing on one particular actor/group of actors each run. This worked remarkably well and had the added benefit of getting those people with lines even more familiar with them!

The Value of Warm-ups

I think I may have found a solution to the cast of Winter's Tale standing round doing nothing but saying their lines. The answer is warm-ups. Actually, more specifically I am thinking about the types of warm-ups we do. Previously, we had been focusing on vocal warm-ups - vowel scales, Hum Train, Pirate Song - but last night we did more physical warm-ups. I started with Biddy-Biddy-Bop but when the actors were, again, just standing round talking rather than playing I had to change my tack ever so slightly. The answer: Kitty Wants a Corner. After explaining the rules - as simple as they are - I think some of the actors were struggling with the point of the game; I don't think they realised that there was no point but the idea was just to run around like a mad thing. The resulting rehearsal was utterly awesome.

This is one of the skills I need to cultivate: the ability to see what the actors need and then give them an exercise that flexes that acting muscle so they can cope with the challenge they are facing at a particular time. I think I am getting much better at this - or at least I am actually becoming aware of when I do it now. My aim for improvement should be to fill my trick-bag with exercises I can actively use.

Thinking All the Time

I have been thinking about what an actor said to me at rehearsal last night. She said I needed to be stronger on the actors to make them work at understanding what they are saying more. This made me think about how I direct. I think that in Winter's Tale, I have been too much of a friend. It is too late to change this now but I need to be much firmer in future. I think I often feel that keeping the actors on-task and reminding them of what they have to do can come off as nagging; this is what I wish to avoid. Yet, if I avoid the nagging, the actors will find any excuse to avoid facing the challenge.

I have also realised the difference between telling the actors what to do and telling them how to do something. If you tell the actors what to do then you leave room for them to come up with how to do it. Yet, if you tell them the how, you leave no room for them to have any meaningful input. Of course, there is also freedom for the actors to com up with what to do and a director should be prepared to let them play to see if their ideas work. The bad situation is when the actors don't come up with anything so the director often feels they need to micromanage instead of giving the actors the broad brush-strokes - at least that is how I often feel.

Creeping up Slowly

We have just had another rehearsal for Winter's Tale, Hector has improved greatly, and it was the first rehearsal with Florizel and Perdita.

Instead of running lines, we focused more on exercises to get the cast freed-up. This didn't quite go as well as it could have since the actor playing Perdita was at rehearsal on-time and - naturally enough - got pissed off that the others were late; we started our 1400 rehearsal at 1430 once it became clear some actors weren't going to show up. However there was great energy between the two throughout the exercises. We started with mirroring and, since this worked so well, we went onto Two Men in an Empty Space. Nothing much happened but the two had a fantastic potential space between them and we even discovered that the actor playing Perdita was definitely the dominant partner.

We followed these two exercises with Line Swapping. I could sense that neither actors were particularly interested but - with a bit of gentle prodding - we started to get somewhere. Instead of simply going over the same thing constantly and not getting any form of variation, I varied my tactics and threw in some side-coaching to keep the actors on task. The actors at least eventually varied how the lines were spoken. However, they hesitated to use their bodies when saying lines and I was forced to changed my focus again. I tried statues but again the actors would not give me any "big" offers so I mobilised the good old extend/advance, which got them working much better. At one point, one actor didn't actually make an offer for the provocation "bastard" but I could see the potential in her pose. After a few extensions she fully embodied the "bastard" who is alone, out-cast, and carries the weight of social opprobrium; from a simple nothing of an offer we can make a stronger offer that actually means something.

We then went back to working with the script. Florizel and Perdita are so in love that they should revel in each other's company. However, the two actors simply walked onto the stage apart and stood "chatting." I asked them to link arms and skip on instead; what a change in energy! Instead of just walking and standing around, the rest of the scene was imbrued with such life and bubbliness that the actors wanted to interact together more. It really is amazing how a simple direction can make wonderful changes to the resulting scene.

So inspired by the results with these two, I tried the exercises on the rest of the cast. I feel we now need to shift our focus to getting more action into the lines since we are getting far too much standing around talking; I am worried that if the actors don't start acting now then they will get into the habit of simply reciting their lines. To this end, I got them to do Line Swap and Statues. Hector surprised me exceedingly. Although he did withdraw at one point - by sitting on the steps during the exercises - I simply carried on rather than taking him to task for his withdrawal. He did join in the Statues exercise well and actually seemed to enjoy it!

I then asked to see the scene Hector and his partners had been working on whilst I was rehearsing with Florizel and Perdita. There was such a change! He was off-book totally - only needing a couple of prompts - as was everyone else! This, I think, gave him such confidence that he was more free with himself and endowed his movement with much more intention. Now, we just have to work on understanding the script more fully so the meaning can come across better.

Risk

I have been quite astounded by the actors' willingness to explore homoeroticism in Winter's Tale. In previous productions, many of my actors have just not wanted to take the risk. Not only are my actors taking more risks but I think I have been too cautious in the past. Particularly when I directed ShaxxxQueer. I have found that if you ask the actors to do something they will probably do it – there is no need to pussy-foot around gay stagings.

However, I do have to be careful. If they don't feel comfortable doing “something gay” then I need to bide my time and chip away at their blocks, especially in the earlier rehearsals. There may be other reasons for the blocks – such as they don't know their scene partner very well – so, if I wait, they may become more willing as the rehearsals progress.

Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Shelley, Ozymandias.

This year has been the most challenging, yet the most rewarding, for me! The most valuable skill I have learnt is not only to critique the way I am directing but also to think critically about theatre in general. Too often in the past I have simply directed a play as if it were my duty to do so after I had a rush of blood to the head and volunteered my services. However, this approach not only devalues the process but also is disrespectful to the actors, the audience, and, most of all, myself. I have learnt to use a production to find out more about myself as well as provide a forum for those creating with me to reach out and touch our fellow humans. Along the way, I have learnt that I must take a risk with my productions – it is not enough simply to stage a play but I must have some emotional connection to that play. I must open myself up and lay myself bare by showing others how I see the world.

It took me a long time to see what the journal exercise was about. Now I realise it is a way to focus on my work, and the work of others, to practically study the director’s role; a role which can only be learnt by doing. It took me a long time to make the leap from writing a review – of which the primary role is to describe the event to an audience who was not present, or to show the audience that was present a different view of the production – to writing a response to a production – of which the primary role is to match my view of the world to that of the production’s director. When I am creating theatre, I need to be conscious of the way I direct, and the way I view the world, so that I can remain true to myself since this is the only way to honestly direct. The skill of seeing yourself as another would, and my work is just another facet of myself, is one of the hardest to cultivate yet I feel I have made great leaps this year in honestly evaluating my work and minimising the sense of protection we all build around our selves.

Coming to the Melbourne Festival was an excellent opportunity for me since it opened my eyes to the ways other people create theatre. Of course, I also had this opportunity in Dunedin, but coming to a different area shows a whole new approach to theatre rather than, often, showing variations on a theme – a phenomenon particularly prevalent in LTT. Particularly the work of Robert Wilson and Barrie Kosky which I found both challenging as well as felt deeply sympathetic with; I find these two artists incredibly inspiring and I find a challenge to improve my ability in their work.

During the conversation with Barrie Kosky, he said “artists have one idea which they find different ways of expressing throughout their career.” This led me to think about what is my one idea? Obviously, being a gay man has influenced my work greatly. Even discounting the political ramifications of staging queer works – something which would be vain since most of my plays stem from a desire to do political work – it is impossible for my sexuality not to influence my work. This would mean I have to step outside myself and portray a life I do not live. As I mentioned in my entry on Sizwe Banzi is Dead, I often stage difference. Perhaps difference is my one idea; I wish to stage my life – which is inherently different to everyone else’s – since this is the impulse from which theatre stems. However, in one sense we all stage difference because this is the only thing we can stage. What I do is make this difference obvious. I begin from a stand-point of wanting to actively show the audience the difference between them and the actors. By explicitly staging difference, I give the audience the gift of being able to touch, however briefly, the life of another. In touching another they are able to see the humanity common to us all and thereby expand their view of the world. Politically, moving the Other from the margins to the centre also helps reduce fear since people fear what they do not understand. Acknowledging what makes you different is the only way to create honest theatre. I now just need to remember this fact so I can apply it to my future career endeavours.

Lisa has also taught me never to be satisfied with what I have done. I also found this during Claire, where the result was not as good as it could have been because I let both myself and my actors off easily. I need to remember that there are always improvements to be made, just as there are always things to learn about the world and your place in it. Similarly, I have learnt to be a lot more relaxed during rehearsals. I have learnt that my actors have contributions to make – or rather I have learnt how to better include my actors’ unique talents in the process of creation – and now the challenge is to find ways to push them to explore the text more fully without actually telling them what to do or letting them be satisfied with the first offer.

Although I have learnt much this year, I have much work still to do. This year has seen some of my best work, particularly Claire, but it has shown me how much further there is still to go in my journey. Of course, we all grow constantly as our journey through life continues but this year has shown me just how much work there is for me to do. In the words of someone famous: “Once more into the breach dear friends.”